“May all your expectations be frustrated, May all your plans be thwarted, May all your desires be withered into nothingness, That you may experience the paralysis and poverty of a child, And sing and dance in the compassion of God Who is Father, Son and Spirit, Amen and Amen.” (Larry Hein)
Preface: My nickname is “exaggeramy.” For obvious reasons.
That said. There are certain things in this life that drive me more insanely bonkers than almost anything else.
Loud, obnoxious chewing. Whether or not you were born in a barn, general human decency and social order dictates that you close your mouth while chewing your food. When you defy said law, and proceed to show me your food while forcing me to hear the rancor of your eating it, I have no choice but to assume you are actually a cow, or worse, a giraffe.